سبحان

his own perceived reality or dreams?

2008-03-24T22:03:00.000+08:00

It is fascinating to have these big and small dreams

Of no meaning, with great consequence. And I see the greener grass below my feet

And I am transfixed with egocentric joy

Joy= bliss= ignorance
Or
Bliss=Ignorance=joy
Bliss=joy=ignorance?
Each to his own perspective, paradigm, fractal
Each believing in so much more than he can see
And I say my fantasies are your reality
Your "distant lands" are my home
My needs are yours fulfilled
Your desires are my existence.
As I concoct thought in lamplight;
You awake with dust in your eyes
We can barely see,
Both awake and falling asleep
It is fascinating to have both large and miniscule dreams,
Of no consequence, with great introspection.
How have we survived evolution?
To believe we are near invincible
Is this truly survival?
Or yet another dream?

the night of tekong.

2007-12-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

Super sad night. Played DotA, played like crap as usual. Actually not that bad. It happens when you play with others. The world is full of new things. HAHA. The Golden Compass is a good movie, if i am given a chance i would read the book written by Phillip Pullman. He did a good job. Like the Harry Potter Series, lots of suspense and excitement.

God Bless All!! Take Care!! 2 weeks time I will tell all what happened in Tekong!!

24 hrs left.

2007-12-05T03:05:00.001+08:00

Tekong is super close. The only way to distract me from Tekong is Dexter. It is the only Tv show I am currently crazy over.

Orphaned at the age of three and harboring a traumatic secret, Dexter was adopted by a Miami police officer named Harry Morgan who recognized his sociopathic tendencies and taught him to channel his gruesome passion for killing and dissecting in a “constructive” way: by killing only heinous criminals. Dexter works as a blood spatter analyst for the Miami police.

This is where the story gets super intriguing and where the addictions begin.
A show not to be missed.

Gene has got his PFT. All the best my friend. Although I know you will fail to get your silver award. I am still hoping for a miraculous news later in the morning.

Right now i am inable to feel anything emotionally. Super complex. Thus, I shall go to bed.
Good Night.

Dinner with indians.

2007-12-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

God bless all. today was a not too bad day, dinner at Swensen's , Marina Sq.
Farewell Dinner. Tekong is not too far away. Anish, Pavitra, Yasotha, Viknesh, Dayalan, Faiz, Thondres, and Maran were present. And my dear friend Shazana just blurted some fucktards name to her ex-boyfriend while talking to Anish and me. Oh Her God. HAHA. All the best my friend.

Soporific, is how one can feel after dinner with dear friends. They're very good people with different style of life. Viknesh and Anish were very reluctant to go but were fucking forced.
I got good friends. And I am thankful. Whoever they are. However they are. Friends are friends.
So I shall not be emo anymore. And Viknesh got blog siol! Viknesh! My man Viknesh. That fuckerjoke, i know like so long. That smoking-buddy cum ''bao-toh-er''. God bless him.

Since Good Friday is a good day, the day before should be not too bad i guess. OMFG.
Thursday is fucking so close. and Now my fucking cute/intelligent nephew somehow appears in my mind. That boy, has got a long way to go, bright future ahead of him. Great parents. God bless them. My Mom and Auntie super worried for me. And God bless them as well.

My fuckerDad. Is fucking busy on thursday and he won't be send me off to tekong. And it really doesn't really matter anyway.

Right now, I am telling Anish that I love being random. Recently, I've been listening to Lacrimas Profundere. Super Gothic. But not too bad. Lacuna Coil is better. And their lead singer is super hot! Italian Babe, Cristina Scabbia.

Yesterday I watched this movie, The Silence Of The Lambs, About Dr Hannibal Lecter.
I just downloaded the sequel to it.

Got to watch soon and United playing at home against Fulham. At 4am.
I got to go collect my textbook later in the morning.
Alright, I shall stop here. I am getting bored.

And it's 4am. Ronaldo scored a spectacular goal. A poor clearing header from Davies allowed Ronaldo to smash home a sweet volley into the top right corner just at the 10 minute mark.
Niemi pulled off astonishing saves to prevent Tevez from further adding to the lead.
58th Minute, Ronnie settled matters with a well-taken header from veteran Giggs' cross.
Styles punished Ronaldo, dubiously, for simulation when Niemi appeared to bring the Portuguese player down in the box.
Man Utd 2 - 0 Fulham

Went to bed at 6am.
Got up at 12pm.
Super bored now.
My school still haven't email me yet.

Next Day.

2007-10-31T23:05:00.000+08:00

Pavitra ~My favourite mistake=)~ YAY! I cleaned my wardrobe at last!=) says (11:04 PM):
FOr fun la! laughter is the best medicine.

Subhan says (11:04 PM):
but fake laughs are the worst.

Who agrees with me.
Whoever.
Doesn't really matter, does it.
Sadly, I am super emo.

I learn a new word from Dictionary.com.

ensorcell

en-SOR-suhl\, transitive verb:
To enchant; to bewitch.

I was ensorcelled.
HAHA.

FUCK YOU/ME/THEM/HER/HIM/US/ALL ((:
To whom i caused pertubation, I might have got it bad.
Don't take it personal.
I LIE.
And I hate not lying about the lies.
It just becomes so habitual.
Insolence takes over.

Perhaps, I should continue later.

This is where i go emo.

2007-10-31T03:48:00.000+08:00

Please read this.
http://my-favouritedrug.blogspot.com/2007/10/sometimes-you-just-have-to-pluck-up.html
Super cool.
My good friend, Shazana somehow out of nowhere wrote this.
She's super smart.
She's a good friend.
She's my friend.
I know its no wonder.
And all the best of luck for her exams.
God Bless (:

And what the fuck is wrong with me.
trust me, it's super not fun being me.
I always feel my life is super sad.
I really cannot think right now.
Sorry to all if I had somehow hurt you.
Trust me, I wont be sorry tomorrow.
I somehow just have this weird sensory crap thingy I wrote on friendster.
It's super lame.
But who gives a fucking shit.
And there is something just so fucking bothering.
It is her.
That creature we call child-bearing, delicate and unmanly.
What am I to do?
I am feeble.
I am a dunce.
I am a dolt.

Oh so fucked.
It's 3.58am now.
I just assisted Ian with his debate.
I sure love debating.
And I hate alcohol.
It makes one feeble, weak.

Yet, It makes one filled.

It's paradoxical.
A statement that seems absurd.

She fucking really left me here high and dry.
And who the fuck am I to her?
Friend, Foe?
And why the fuck do I feel this way?
I've got so many fucking things to think about.
Yet.
Yet.

ARGH!!
FUCK.
GOOD NIGHT/MORNING.

Fucked Up once Again.

2007-06-10T20:34:00.000+08:00

Taking over my dream of love
Feel a bit of poetry in my life
But it all could change in just one night
Reoccurring nightmares disturb
Everyone who lets them occur
The very same is true in life
So shed a little light to make it all right
Seems some lessons are not learned
Repeat the course or you'll return
Back to the part that was left out
Pieces of the part thrown all about
Looks messed up once more again
Can't cover it up won't pretend
Have to return to a new start
Pick another direction
Now comes the hard part
Fucked up never again.

meaningless.

2007-06-08T01:26:00.000+08:00

history merely repeats itself
nothing in this world is
truly new the sea churns as it feeds from the river
at its mouth the wind blows across the land from
north to south
the labouring man spends his life
getting nowhere
meaningless
it's all meaningless
all my life and
labour is foolish
and
now I don't have a reason anymore
come now be merry
drink your drink
devour your feasts
don't stop to think tomorrow you could be gone far away
so gather your rosebuds
while you may tomorrow
you could lie in a silent grave
pawing the dust and awaiting the end of time
fear your God
this is all I know
it's all meaningless
i don't have a reason
a reason to live anymore

incarceration.

2007-06-08T01:24:00.001+08:00

I cried as the curtain fell and I stared in woe at the
world before me , "Let me die",
My weeping eyes could not bear to tell of the shattered pain of friendship
A pearl in the nest of memories
Forever gone...departed by the minds of man
Scavengers, feeding on their mother's blood
Parasites of life, with my heart I condemn your ignorant ways
Like the leaves of the high trees
I wither and fall
Born my autumnal winds
To my funeral hall
I'm all alone in the grip of the silent sadness
I have been told to honor life and what there in I'll find
But if all I see is darkness, let me die and wake up blind
As the gleaming blade before me, singing lullabies of loss
Whispering "death is your redeemer to the Paradise you've lost"
Mankind,
Evoker of inferno
Why should I stay here where I do not belong?
Of weakness burns my within...an empty shell
I've lost the way to the sanctity I need
I'll greet the dawn that brings no life,
No frail beams of sun to cleanse the black night
My mournful roam has ended
I hide in the shadows while biding my time
Sheltered from my world which disorderly rhymes
With the fury of damnation
And the white sky lay open in a soul that was free
But the years flew so far as the shadows were cast
And I woke up one morning with no reason to be
I'm all alone in the shade of the nameless sorrow
I'm all alone within a shadowfire of fear
Take me home to whence I came
Where I'll find light to feed my flame of life
Or my heart will die without a whisper of hope...